Quarter Life Crisis

This year, I will be turning a quarter of a century. The big 25. Half of fifty. Wow.

At the start of the year, I was so sure that this was gonna be an awesome year for me. I found someone special, I was surrounded by a great group of friends, I had my family with me and life was good.

The only factor troubling me since mid last year was my job. 2014 started out great but in May, my life at work just went downhill. Almost everyone in my department left for better opportunities and I was left to carry the burden all by myself with some help from another colleague. November came, and that colleague also left and I was once again all alone.

Being in a department that focuses on fundraising for an organisation, it is certainly not easy trying to juggle the job scope of 3 people. I kept hanging on and told myself that things would fall into place. At the end of the year, we had two new recruits but sadly, even though I made one new good friend from that new recruits but alas, they too didn't last.

So, after months of juggling on my own and feeling unhappy with what I was doing, I made the bold move to step away from everything and handed in my resignation letter. I had reached that point where I was feeling burned out and taken advantage of. If you know me, I am certainly not the type to just give up on something (3 years in my first job!) and I always need a plan B but for me to have reached this point in my life, I knew I had no other choice but to move on.

It's coming to almost 3 weeks since I left my job and I have to say that I am happy that I left but as of late, with all this extra free time on my hand, I have been reflecting a lot on my life and where life is going to be taking me.

Have you ever felt like you don't know where you are heading in life and you just feel so lost? You don't exactly know what you want to do and what will make you happy? Well, that is exactly how I am feeling right now.

Coming from a mass communication background, I realise that I have so many options in front of me but I feel like I can't figure out what I want to do. I am still young and I have the future open wide for me and I know I should take this opportunity to explore every given opportunity. But, I feel like I have this fear in me that is making me doubt my capabilities. Being in the same job for the past three years also kept me in my comfort zone and now the thought of starting over in a new place and learning everything from scratch scares me a bit.

So, right now, I feel like I am drifting, unsure of where to go and what to do. As a result of these feelings, my emotions have been a bit haywire as of late. My friends have been super awesome trying to give me advice and telling me their experiences of how they were in similar situations before.

A few people have told me that an idle mind is the devil's workshop and I am starting to believe that to be true. I want to believe that eventually everything will fall into place but right now, it's hard to do that when all seem so lost.

I think right now, I just need to take a deep breathe, keep the faith and trust that God has bigger plans for me.